In this week’s Workplace Wellness, we acknowledge common techniques used to deal with stress and explore alternative ways to cope.
Every job – even the illusive “dream” job – comes with stress. Maybe in a perfect world your days would be filled with inspiring meetings, thrilling email exchanges, and all the time in the world to complete your tasks. But in more realistic workplaces, there are often difficult and stressful situations that arise. Since every job at some point or another will cause stress, it’s important to dig into what techniques you may be using to cope – and whether or not these strategies are causing more harm than good.
Some Potentially Negative Coping Methods You May Be Using
- Avoidance: If you are faced with ever-rising anxiety at work, you may start to avoid unpleasant interactions, or even perceived unpleasant interactions. This can manifest in different ways in the workplace. For example, you might back out of 1:1s with your manager, or call in sick for a few extra mental health days each month, or skip a project meeting in favor of catching up later via email. These are all protective moves for someone looking to reduce suffering.
- Over-Indulgence in Unhealthy Habits: Long day? Feeling burned out and exhausted? You may seek self soothing options like extra desserts, bingeing TV, or over-indulging with alcohol. When the stress starts to add up and feel unmanageable, however, that’s when these once-in-awhile treats begin to be a regular occurrence. You start replacing exercise, eating well, and getting enough sleep with unhealthy habits to calm and support during stressful occasions, which can have a negative effect in the long term.
- Emotional Reactivity: Feeling on edge? Sometimes when stress increases in the workplace it can be challenging to just “white knuckle” your day-to-day. In these cases, angry or emotional reactions may bubble up. This not only leads to more long term consequences for you, but also spills over to your colleagues, adding to their stress as well.
Do any of these sound familiar? It happens to the best of us from time to time. Work involves spending a lot of time with lots of different people who all have their opinions and diverse backgrounds. It is natural for there to be times of awkwardness, stress, and challenges.
But, next time, try something different when one of these coping methods feels like your only option.
If you feel like “avoiding” – practice some Insight instead. Insight is the third pillar in the Healthy Minds Framework for Well-Being and supports the cultivation of the skills of self-inquiry, self-knowledge, and self-transcendence. Basically, it’s about questioning your assumptions and getting curious about your mind. Insight comes from first-hand experience of how your mind actually works. When you sit and practice, in a way, you are studying and investigating consciousness itself. With time, you develop the ability to step back and investigate what’s happening in your mind. If you find yourself avoiding certain meetings, it’s great to step back and get curious with yourself. Ask yourself why you are avoiding this meeting and notice your thoughts, physical sensations and emotions. Question your beliefs, i.e. “I know so-and-so will just dismiss my comments,” and keep digging into your emotional state. You won’t change these feelings, but you will be able to understand them more. You cannot predict the future, but you can be present in the next meeting and not take your mind’s prediction as reality.
If you feel like “overindulging” – give yourself some kindness instead. When we reach for unhealthy habits it’s usually to soothe or comfort ourselves in some way. Spend a few days paying attention to the moments when you choose these coping mechanisms and you’ll likely be able to draw a direct parallel to a moment of stress and your choice to over-indulge. When you start to become more and more aware of these triggers, give yourself some kindness instead. It’s often easier to remember to be kind to your colleagues and family than it is to bring that kindness to yourself. What brings out your best qualities and leaves you with a feeling of calm confidence? What energizes you and makes you feel like anything is possible? Once you have the urge to indulge, instead ask yourself, “What would be the kindest thing to do for myself right now, instead?” Maybe you do a brief meditation, exercise, or take a bath. Take time do that one kind thing for yourself.
If you feel emotionally reactive – practice mindfulness in those moments. Practicing mindfulness in difficult situations can be incredibly rewarding. You will begin to train your mind to notice when you are feeling reactive, rather than just reacting. You can do this ahead of time, or even in the moment. First, take a moment to think about something you find challenging at work. Then form an intention to use this upcoming challenge as an opportunity to practice. Think about what you can do with your mind when you’ll be in the situation, like bringing awareness to your breath or becoming aware of sensations in your body. As you go about your day, remind yourself of this intention in the hours leading up to the challenge. And when the moment comes, do your best to maintain a sense of mindfulness throughout the activity.
Work stress will happen. Your coping mechanisms can help you grow and learn, or they can create a cycle of destruction that leads to burnout. Try some of these alternatives above instead!
Learn more about how the Healthy Minds Framework can support your workplace well-being with Healthy Minds @Work or join our intensive public MasterClass to learn the Healthy Minds Framework for Well-Being on your time.
